What is your opinion of the short (WIP*) (DAQ*) poem?
Posted on Jun 27, 2009 under dried foliage | 12 CommentsWIP=work in progress
DAQ=Developed as Answer to Question
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Harmony with Nature
by Victoria Tarrani
(c) 0906.20
Last night I slept beneath the trees
in a dark and fearsome forrest;
taunted by nightmares of strange sounds,
eyes staring, fur in my face like
rabbit's wear to shield them from the cold.
Afraid, I drifted in sleep's maze.
Taxus foliage kept me dry
until the sun, straight overhead,
revived a rested me. The signs were
everywhere. Nature protected me.
~~
I never give thumbs down. I appreciate your time in reading and responding to my work. You will always get a thumbs up from me!
The original poem is in my starred questions. Here is the link: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AgeMfIWicgxvoAbpjjX9HgHty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090620000400AAK3OPK&show=7#profile-info-HFDndzxOaa
If that doesn't work, you'll see a question about LITERATURE – it had to be part of nature.
I realy like how your verse flowed together and was so structuraly sound you have grown much in skill. I just wish your ending was a little better after such a deep and beautifull poem. I'd make the last two lines a little further along explaining why nature spared and protected you and leaves so many behind.
June 28th, 2009 at 2:26 am
The signs were everywhere;
So that is why you put on a hat.
And wear sunglasses to hide your "panda eyes'
I believed you need a better rest.
RIP
Do not disturb….
Resting In Progress.
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June 28th, 2009 at 2:35 am
Nice flow in this…a peaceful restive verse…nice pen
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June 28th, 2009 at 3:25 am
It's GTG and I see no RFI.
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GTG – good to go
RFI – room for improvement
June 28th, 2009 at 3:54 am
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~_~.
Hi Tori -
Please Forgive my Ignorance, (PFI)…But, May I have the Actual Question (AQ), or is this Yet To Come YTC) ?
{{**I'm quite intrigued**}}<—– This is my actual answer…..
As I said to you before, Poetry Both Lulls me and Confuses me. Sometimes, however, I get it and it will hit a nerve!
I WAS having fun in the first sentence so, please don't take it as an insult..I figure, you are my Grasshopper to poetry.
Maybe, just "Ability to Comprehend Poetry in Training" (ACPT) Thank You for Sharing, Looking forward to more!
(PIT) Poet In Training.
Take Care!! Lillsoma
____________ ~_~.
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>OMAOPINION<
June 28th, 2009 at 4:04 am
I would play on the literature part more I feel like the word spelled
and the theme are- not resolved somehow
but that is just me
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June 28th, 2009 at 4:19 am
I got to love it!
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June 28th, 2009 at 5:06 am
Beautiful Tori.
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June 28th, 2009 at 5:31 am
I really like your poem. You are a great inspiration. Thanks for sharing.
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June 28th, 2009 at 6:08 am
I realy like how your verse flowed together and was so structuraly sound you have grown much in skill. I just wish your ending was a little better after such a deep and beautifull poem. I'd make the last two lines a little further along explaining why nature spared and protected you and leaves so many behind.
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by the way hi again and thanx for your concern before I try to awnser at least one question a week now so if you want to check on me scope my profile and check out what question I gave the time to awnser in my awnsered questions… I feel like a question should be thought over thouroly and an awnser given time for it to be the best and with my very limeted net use one is alot. much love for your poetry though I'll always try to read them.
June 28th, 2009 at 6:17 am
Whew — I'm glad WIP and DAQ were explained, especially after your scifaiku. I loved that. I'll read it again.
A typo: forest has just one r.
Good word — taxus. Julius would like that one.
It is really a good poem, but I'm still jazzed by your scientific haiku, so it's hard to settle and enjoy the peaceful scene. Sorry, it just didn't grab me. gg
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June 28th, 2009 at 6:30 am
This is an acrostic poem using LITERATURE. You did it very well and kept to the nature theme as well as using some interesting word pictures and imaginative ideas. The words said more than the value of the words said separately. Definite thumbs up.
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June 28th, 2009 at 6:59 am
Impressive! That must have taken some thought and effort. I hope it was good mental exercise for you. Had you not included that link it wouldn't have crossed my mind that you used "literature." Good job! Keep up the good work!
)
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